


disgusting

by grosskaneki



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Desperation, Gen, M/M, Omorashi, Other, Pants wetting, Shironeki | White-haired Kaneki, Wetting, literally the whole thing is he fucking pisses himself i want to die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-06 21:50:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6771571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grosskaneki/pseuds/grosskaneki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>kaneki just can't hold it any longer.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>or, im awful and gay and can't stop writing self indulgent garbage</p>
            </blockquote>





	disgusting

**Author's Note:**

> literally this whole thing is him wetting his pants so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i know how bad and self indulgent this is so please hold the tomato throwing im but a simple gay

Kaneki is trying his absolute best not to show how badly he has to use the bathroom.

He's trying the best he can to stay still; he doesnt want to inconvenience anyone, he has to stay strong for them, but he can't stop shaking. Tearing up, biting his lip, his hands shoved as subtly as possible between his legs...it's painfully obvious just from looking at him that he desperately needs to relieve himself. If that wasn't already bad enough, little, desperate whines keep escaping his throat despite his best efforts to stay quiet. 

By this point, his legs are shaking. More and more piss is leaking out of him every second that goes by, but he keeps insisting that he's fine, that he doesn't need a bathroom, but the dark and dampening crotch of his pants tell a different story. The worst part about it all was that he'd brought this on himself: his unbearable desperation, his feeling of helplessness, everything. If he'd only just swallowed his pride earlier and admitted he'd needed to relieve himself, then he wouldn't be in this position now, but he hadn't wanted to seem weak or childish, and besides...it was embarrassing, letting his bladder needs get in the way of his training. And now, he's stuck; if he stands up or stops holding himself, he'll lose control. He's going to piss himself at this point—it's inevitable, he won't be able to get himself to the bathroom without his bladder giving out—but that's not stopping him from holding on to his remaining shreds of dignity as long as he possibly can. It doesn't seem like he's going to be able to anymore, though, judging by how much he's spurting and leaking. The unbearable fullness of his bladder isn't something he can deal with or hold back much longer. He's biting his lip so hard it's about to draw blood. He's so fucking _desperate_ and it's unbearable. He has to go so, so _bad_ , and he simply can't hold it anymore.

Not even a minute of squirming and leaking and bouncing later, he just can't hold it in for another second, and all at once he loses control. 

He's _peeing_ in his _pants_. He's soaking himself with his own urine and his bladder is emptying completely involuntarily, and he's shaking with the effort to hold it back but he just _can't_. He's wetting his pants like a kid, feeling weak and ashamed; he just couldn't hold it anymore, couldn't _control_ himself. 

Finally, he lets go of his crotch and relaxes and lets his bladder empty itself in his pants, wets himself uncontrollably; it's already happening anyway. He's already lost control, and nothing he does can stop it—his pants are already dripping wet and it's dampening the bottom of his shirt. There's still so much _more_ left, even though he already let go and he's been peeing himself for what feels like forever already. He can _hear_ it coming out of him and soaking his pants more until they can't absorb any more of his piss. It starts streaming down his legs and dripping off his pants, and there's a puddle of his _own urine_ on the floor. 

Kaneki's face is burning red and he's whimpering pathetically, but he still lets out a soft, whiny moan because, despite how embarrassed he is, the feeling of finally emptying his bladder after holding it for so long is indescribable. By this point, he's completely soaking himself, his clothes, the carpet, and the chair he's sitting in with piss. Now that his hands are free, he hides his face, shaking and crying from the awful feeling of helplessness. He can still feel it streaming out of him uncontrollably, flooding into his pants and underwear and puddling under him where he's sitting, and how wet and warm it is. 

He's disgusted at himself. It reminds him of all the other times he lost control of his own bodily functions and bladder. He remembers when he was just an anxious, innocent kid; when he'd desperately grab himself to stop his bladder from leaking out of nothing but sheer anxiety. Unfortunately, he'd only been able to helplessly cry as more and more piss leaked out of him until his pants and the spot where he'd been sitting were completely wet. After he'd inevitably leaked to the point that it was pointless for him to keep desperately holding himself back, he'd finally give up and stop fighting it and relax his bladder, peeing his pants uncontrollably, sobbing and trembling and soaking himself in urine. He had always dreaded the moment when his aunt would find him and the mess he'd made all over himself and the floor, despite the fact that it was her who'd made him anxious and afraid enough that he hadn't felt safe enough to leave his room to use the bathroom. The more panicked he'd felt, the more desperate he'd gotten and the more he'd leaked. It was a vicious and humiliating cycle that always ended in him wetting himself and getting viciously scolded, which in turn had only made him more anxious. It had taken a long time for him to get over, but eventually he had—although clearly not completely, judging by his current situation.

He remembers when he'd wet himself during the torture; from fear, from stress and panic, and from his bladder simply being too full and too weak to hold it in. Of course, there hadn't been any way he could relieve himself without being forced to empty his bladder in his pants. It was degrading and he hated it. Over and over, he was left alone with the disgusting feeling of warmth streaming down his legs and soaking his pants and puddling in the chair and on the ground. And Yamori—he hadn't let the fact of him not being able to control his bladder slip his notice. He didn't like to think about it.

Right now, the thought of everyone watching him, everyone knowing he pissed his pants, is unbearably embarrassing, but...he just couldn't hold it anymore. He wishes that Hide were still with him. He'd understand—Kaneki had wet himself in front of him before. Hide would reassure him, comfort him, help him get cleaned up and changed into dry clothes, and cuddle with him to help him feel better. He'd be gentle and kind and respectful and somehow know exactly how Kaneki needed to be treated to get over the humiliation and feel comfortable again, but Hide isn't here anymore, and he has no idea how the others will react. He wouldn't blame them for being disgusted with him or even laughing at him and making fun of him.

It feels like an eternity later when the stream finally stops, but it was probably only about a minute—possibly the most humiliating minute he's ever suffered through. His bladder is finally, blessedly empty, but he's sopping wet and sticky, there's still piss trickling down his legs, his underwear is completely soaked, and his pants are dripping with his own urine into the puddle on the floor. He's just shaking and crying and sitting in a puddle of his own mess, and his cheeks feel like they're on fire.

It's so _humiliating_. He had just pissed in his pants like a fucking child. He'd completely wet himself and his clothes and the floor and chair. His accident is impossible to brush off and impossible to hide, and he's more humiliated and ashamed than he can ever remember being, but the feeling of relief from the unbearable pressure in his bladder is so incredible that he can't help giving a small, relaxed, blissful sigh.

**Author's Note:**

> Please Comment On My Gay Garbage™


End file.
